I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
