ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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