Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
