i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
