just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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