HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
