there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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