i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
