My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
