first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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