I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
