So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
