i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
