just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
