just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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