I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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