Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
