you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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