my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
