I seem to have left my pride at pride
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
