talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
