yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
