just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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