Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
