I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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