Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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