I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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