I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
