ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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