he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
