so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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