What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
