You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
