i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
