So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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