i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
