I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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