Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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