You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
