Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
