Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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