Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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