He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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