i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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