Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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