I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
