they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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