Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
