And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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