my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
