The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
