My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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