I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
