He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
